tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13250956816307261852024-03-05T18:07:31.138-07:00reNICKulous's rantsI plan on using this blog to throw my wit papers into after I get them back, to see if I should continue putting pen to paper, or if I am done for.reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-69370988744110200082011-10-24T01:22:00.000-06:002011-10-24T01:22:21.625-06:00The Ballad of Samuel Danger Warbucks (Or How Being a Loser Made Me Lose More)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-align: center;">(*Note, this work has corresponding pictures found at the bottom of the post)</div><div style="text-align: left;">I once heard someone say, “If I didn’t have bad luck I’d have no luck at all. This is, to put it gently, bullshit. I would rather have no luck just for the fact that if I didn’t have any luck then anything that happens would be owed exclusively to my own effort. Not to some anonymous lady luck who, according to the most interesting man in the world (as purported by beer commercials) is the type of woman who is only around when you are winning. In the world of misfortune and bad get rich quick scams I’m known as Nicholas ‘Rock Slash Super’ Starr and luck recently seemed to go out of its way to screw me over, while smiling kindly on my associate Samuel ‘Danger’ Warbucks.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-align: left;">The evening seemed like any other. We found ourselves in one of the few places in which I am almost always unquestionably irked to be in the mere vicinity of, a place that I somehow found myself in despite my already shaky relationship with lady luck. Somehow Danger had managed to piece together a business proposition that was so intriguing that I fought off every instinct that I possessed and agreed to meet him at a casino. More specifically he had me meet him at the craps table. This is where he started in on his idea. To be honest I couldn’t really pay attention to why he needed to receive a ‘smallish’ loan that was not only going to return itself to me a hundred times over, but that could make me a genius is some community of science or welfare or something. I definitely should have paid attention, but Danger has this way about him where he can draw out a paragraph that would take ten seconds to read into a monologue that has to be broken up into acts so that the audience has the opportunity to go to the bathroom. In the course of his discourse Danger was able to explain his experiences from learning how to drive, his love of licorice, some joke he had made a week ago that made him laugh, a new band he heard on the radio who’s name didn’t make sense to him, and occasionally in between these details he was able to insert some passing details of his plan. After the first twenty minutes I lost focus, the next twenty minutes saw me nodding off, the final twenty had me contemplating asking him to repeat the whole diatribe to see if this type of conversation was a rehearsed script or if it was organically drawn out.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-align: left;">The end finally arrived and the point was finally made, Danger wanted to borrow $5993.48 to unleash his money making scheme. Despite knowing the amount of time it would cost me I asked two questions; Is the money making scheme borrowing people’s, or more specifically my, money, and why such a specific amount, why not round it out to something like $6000? Danger looked at me incredulously and took a deep, deep breath, which I took to mean that he was either offended or had another monologue coming, and said, in rather patronizing (at least for someone borrowing money) voice<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>that the scheme was not just borrowing money, and that <span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>the amount was specific because he did not want to be greedy. Even though I was about 90 percent sure that he was patronizing me I agreed to loan him the money. I didn't know if it was because he was so confident that my money wouldn't be at risk, or because he was just so goddamn charismatic, but I somehow was able to part with my money, and also my last shred s of sanity and dignity, and the best advice I could muster, “don’t fuck me on this.”</div><div style="line-height: normal; text-align: left;"><o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-align: left;">Turns out that the scheme that Danger was willing to risk all of my money in was a little more intensive than $5993.48 could afford him so the first stop we made was to the craps table, He was going to let it ride with my money, as soon as he put the cash on the table I knew I was never going to see it again. With the first role of the dice he was all in, and, miraculously, it wasn’t a death sentence. But the second role hit me like a wrecking ball, it was a seven, the death blow. I looked right at him, and I said it’s time to go get some lipstick, so I can pretty myself up now that you just fucked me. He understandably distraught but that wasn’t getting my money back.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-align: left;">I went home and contemplated how I was going to be able to recoup my losses. I was struck through with inspiration. The money I had loaned Danger was for my vacation, the first vacation I was going to be able to take since I graduated high school. Since this was out the door I was going to have fun on my time off. I was going to see things that had never seen before, and Danger was going to be the one to make it possible. I began planning what would be the vacation of a life time. I was going to set up my own personal game show, where Danger was the only contestant. For every activity he was going to have his debt reduced, but at stake was his dignity, his wellbeing, and even possibly his life. He readily agreed to my terms, because, even with all his natural charm and charisma, he was bad with money, as made obvious by our recent transaction.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-align: left;">Scooby Doo. To his credit Danger didn't complain, or look apprehensive, but he did mumble something about making a new friend. With that the fight was on and Grady took an easy lead to my great amusement. <span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>However, the tide soon started to change, and the fight slowly started shifting so that neither fighter had much of an advantage<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>so I felt it necessary to start cheering on my boy Grady, though I was still clearly optimistic. Grady then began to tire out while Danger was catching his second wind<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>and suddenly Danger yelled “it’s lipstick time mother fucker” and started beating Grady into submission. Finally Grady’s wild spirit was broken, and Danger was able to make himself a friend and I was definitely not ready to see that. I asked him afterward what the hell he meant by “It’s lipstick time” and he told me that I was “about to realize that I may have just fucked myself on having him fight a dog.” Turns out that he is a dog savant, and he knew that all Grady wanted was a friend. So the score at this point was 1-0 against me and I knew that I had to step up the game, so I skipped straight to the gauntlet.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-align: left;">That evening I decided that I was going to push Danger to the mental, physical, and emotional limit. At the end of the night, I was going to be reimbursed, and he was either going to be lying on the ground a broken and battered pile, or he was going to be able to stand and shake my hand and we could part ways with mutual respect. I was understandably excited, he was confused and wearily wary. First I decided to confuse him by letting him have fun on a swing set, and he was able to deliver. I then sent him plunging down from his emotional high. I started by forcing him into a cold and dark prison and then started berating him from a higher altitude with every emasculating insult and put down I could think of, and I had a little bit of fun with it “You will never amount to anything,” “you’re a son of a motherless goat,” “your hair looks like you got it cut with hedge clippers by a blind man and you told him the style you wanted was Lesbian Justin Beiber chic,” “your cooking is mediocre at best” I was throwing gold at the poor guy, and to his credit he endured without a single tear falling.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>At this point he didn't know which way was up emotionally, and so I threw him a curve, he was going to have to beat my undefeated tic-tac-toe game, on the first try. At first I thought he was totally befuddled and defeated<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>but that sneaky son of a bitch somehow pulled victory from the jaws of defeat,<span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>and he was ecstatic. Next I figured he would start being fatigued from his earlier battle with Grady and his swing excursion so I asked him to use my manual oil drill. <span style="line-height: normal;"> </span>He ended up looking like a stripper who forgot to take off her clothes, who was less dancing with the pole so much as trying to impregnate it. I soon asked him to stop so that I didn’t start feeling sick, or compelled to start throwing dollar bills his way. In order to make sure he was tired I had a new series of events that would push him past exhaustion.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;"><div style="text-align: left;"> First up he and I had a pull up contest, one in which I cheated, somehow he also won this challenge as well. Next he had to run through the obstacle course. To this point this event seemed to give him the most trouble. At one point he also almost fell to what could have been his death, or at least a pretty severe scraped knee. The monkey bars proved to be a pretty difficult challenge, at least that’s what I was led to believe from the intense gestures he made, as well as the expressions on his face. The rainbow walk seemed to look like it was going to be a piece of cake for him, but here too he stumbled from time to time. Somehow little Samuel “Danger” Warbucks was able to complete, and even excel in every challenge of the gauntlet. Finally he was able to step into the ring of victory, a debt-free man. All that stood before him was the final task; he had to be beat me in hand to hand combat.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"> This was the final challenge so I was ready to take no chances. Every event to this point was meant to drain him of strength, stamina, and fortitude. This event was mine to lose, so I started off carefully, I threw a punch that was pretty easily blocked and turned into a punch targeted at my face so I changed my game plan and we went to some old school professional wrestling style fighting. First we postured (He chose tiger stance) then we locked up, and I took control with a devastating vertical suplex then I stood him up to take a bit of a cheap shot to the gut and then I decided to give the crowd the ol’ razzle dazzle and threw down a good old fashioned airplane spin, which honestly seemed like some great fun for both of us . Unfortunately this got me a little bit dizzy and Danger was able to take advantage. I went for one of the most devastating moves that I know of, the elbow drop and apparently Danger had enough fight in him to move over to his left a little bit and get out of my way, which I cannot say feels too good. Danger liked the idea of an elbow drop so he got ready to throw one of his own, albeit his was much more successful which felt like he may have broken my sternum. From there he kind of just lost control, and crossed a line if you ask me and he even show boated for the cameras for a bit. Then he decided that he wanted to finish me off so I thought that this was as good a time as any to teach him the most valuable lesson a person can learn. I gathered all the strength that I could muster and threw the hardest blow I could muster right at his Dangling Dangers, this seemed to hurt him a bit, and between the embarrassing ass kicking I had just received, and the fact that I pretty much blew $6000 in twenty four hours I decided to gloat while yelling my musing at him. As he was languishing on the ground I squatted down slightly pointed right at him and yelled “THAT’S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER!!!” which was soon followed by me telling him slightly quieter (though I was still pointing at him for some reason) and said, “You can pay your dues, take you punches, get a few in, and then do everything right in life in order to get ahead, but there will always be somebody there ready to punch you right in the dick and take all your glory away. “ Then I helped him up and took him to the winner’s podium, he deserved to celebrate a bit and no matter how bitter the pill was I still had to give the little shit some credit, he did what he needed to do so I had to shake his hand. As we walked back to the car we both rode in he said, “We’re cool now right? Want to be best friends?” I couldn't help myself, I looked him right in the eye and said, “No we are not cool, you still owe me $38.23, but yeah we can be best friends, that was a bad-ass elbow drop.” From then on we were best friends, though he still owes me the money.</div><br />
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text-indent: .5in;"><div style="text-indent: 0px;"><br />
</div></div>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-88672056329227274742011-04-07T08:23:00.000-06:002011-04-07T08:23:01.530-06:00Whelp this is Awkward<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I give all the credit in the world to the protesters and revolutionaries in the Middle-East. Whether the revolution is social, political, or even artistic, the difficulty in organizing and mobilizing support is astronomical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a goal that is at best idealistic and at most near impossible. To this end I decided to spark a revolution and the good fortune to be able to fail spectacularly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My revolution was meant to fight oppression and tyranny. It was to liberate everyone from one of the most restrictive institutions known in the world today. I did everything I could think of in order to spread the word of my revolution like wildfire. I took some of the best tips from the Egyptian revolution. I created a fan page on facebook. Not only did I make this fan page but I named it one of the greatest names known to man. It had everything needed for success, except for the support I hoped for. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Topless Tuesdays was my brain child. Being alliterative and descriptive, this, in my mind, was the most effective title possible. The idea behind Topless Tuesdays was <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to devote one day a week where, in the privacy of one’s own home, to unencumber yourself from the restrictive, and downright deplorable idea of being required to wear a shirt. Originally this was an event that I decided to try on my own, but the gloriousness could not be contained me alone. It spread to my good friends who visited me at my home last Tuesday. Soon Topless Tuesday will become Topless Tuesdays. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The only difficulty I face is trying to spread Topless Tuesdays outside of my home. First I have to overcome the Puritan agenda that our country as a whole seems to propagate. Second, once that is done it will probably be easy to convince men and boys alike to join the cause, females, however, will be more difficult. First and foremost I must try to convince fifty percent of the world’s population that this is not some contrived attempt to see some naked breasts, but instead is to see one hundred percent of the world’s population<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>commit to freedom at least one night a week.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At the time of writing this on facebook there are currently eight people in support of Topless Tuesdays, one of whom is myself,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>two of which are my roommates, two of which are close friends that I specifically asked for support, one is a former teacher who had always been cool about such things, and two people who seem genuinely interested. This is out of four hundred and forty people invited. One of a few possibilities is possible. Possibilities include in order of most likely to least likely: <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The man is working with the Federal government in a conspiracy to bury this movement, four hundred and twenty people missed the suggestion to like my fan page, the unrest in the middle east is stealing all my thunder, or this was a dumb fluke of an idea that was thought up for a laugh between myself and my roommates. Whatever the case, dear reader, I’ll let you decided if you want to live in a world that won’t take their shirts off for freedom. <o:p></o:p></div>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-91687640272041278032011-03-24T00:06:00.000-06:002011-03-24T00:06:53.818-06:00The Resume I have Always Wanted to Write<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">To whom it concerns,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">I submit my name before you I hope of securing employment with your organization. As the baby boomer generation grows older, the job market is opening up like almost never before. Soon corporations will be begging for new, young employees to fill the gaps of a rapidly aging, and therefore retiring, generation. I choose to make myself available to you now in an effort to show both gumption and proactivity that your company appreciates, or will soon appreciate as a new, less cultured workforce begins to thrust themselves into the workforce.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;">Having been pursuing education for the past eighteen years of my life I do not have much to offer in terms of experience, either in this particular field, or any that requires any level of real responsibility for that matter. From working four years in retail I do have rudimentary people skills, can count to ten, can stay up past ten pm, can wake up before six am, and have experience in wearing uncomfortable uniforms. I am well versed in working for incompetent managers and supervisors. I have experience helping multiple unreasonable people when I’m not technically on the clock. I am used to being asked at the last minute to come in early and stay late, but if I need to leave thirty minutes early then I am asking for the world to revolve around me<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having graduated high school, and being on the verge of completing college I am able to coherently articulate myself in both spoken and written word. I am used to making and maintaining schedules. Most of all I am used to working. Beyond working I am able to get the job done. If it were possible to be employed based solely on being able to finish the job, despite inadequate training, assistance from coworkers, motivation, job satisfaction, inadequate materials, sickness, and multiple other responsibilities such as eating, sleeping, and breathing, then I would be on the list of most successful people who still have to work for a living.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In closing I am the most capable, if not qualified by means of education, training, or experience, for employment with your organization. I am the go to guy, the one that everyone looks to for help. I get shit done.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">With Best Regards,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Your newest (and best) employee<o:p></o:p></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-align: center;"><br />
Special Skills<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Tall enough to reach the top and back of most shelves<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Ability to answer at least fifty percent of questions on Jeopardy<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Have read the entire series of Harry Potter, in order, multiple times<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Once achieved a score of five stars on the song Free Bird on Guitar Hero II<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Able to text rapidly and discreetly<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Able to get people to laugh while they are crying (AKA Craughing)<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Have watched the entire series of Seinfeld, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Simpsons, Family Guy, Futurama, the Venture Bros, Deadliest Warrior, most episodes of mythbusters, and the occasional episode of Wheel of Fortune<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I have won multiple trivia competitions with various prizes<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Depending on the day I range from a decent to excellent at beerpong<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I once kicked in a door<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I am able to grow facial hair to the point that I have multiple options in how to groom my face<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I am able to talk to the opposite sex with little to no worry about making a fool of myself<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>My mother says I have a good sense of humor<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I don’t get cold very easily, and therefore<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>have little trouble sharing my jacket<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I enjoying eating very spicier food than your average person<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I have no problem sharing my dessert as I do not particularly like sweets<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I can cook a mean roast<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I don’t flinch during scary movies<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I can usually untie most knots<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I do my own laundry<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>When I fail to color in the lines, its due to artistic license<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Know how tell analog, digital, and military time<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>If need be I know how to make a call on a rotary phone<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I will always be the designated driver<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I beat pokemon silver once<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I am a pretty good writer<br />
<span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-bidi-font-family: Wingdings; mso-fareast-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">§<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>And most of all I get the job done<br />
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That being said understand that if you read this and get upset, be upset at a situation that would make a story like this possible, not the writer who wanted to write something more substantial than what i had been writing.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 32px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">***Disclaimer***</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">I am the victim. I was minding my own business and I was seduced. Seduced by the innocence of youth and trust, I had no recourse. My whole life I’ve had no urges, even all through seminary and as I was a young priest I was in control, just me, my parish, and the Lord in our little corner of Ireland. This all changed when I saw him.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For years it has been the practice of the church to keep quiet anything that could be considered a scandal, this decision coming from the Pope himself. I don’t, however, see this as an excuse to run wild, though more as an omission that the church is run by humans and as such there is the possibility for fallibility, especially with the more basic human desires.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was at my most basic when young Alan stepped through the church doors. He was already young, 11, and looked young for his age. He was to be an altar boy and for some reason my heart skipped a beat. I saw him put on the robes, carrying the cross for me and I could not control myself. With him primped and polished for the Sunday service, dressed in his little suit he must have known what he was doing, enticing me to a level that was nearing torture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he asked me for an audience and I was in trouble.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He sat in my office fidgeting making nervousness the new cute and then he spoke in his clear, angelic voice. “I’m worried that as my body is changing, I’m starting be attracted to people. More specifically my best friend Tommy.” For some reason all I heard was bells, this was my in, he was totally coming on to me. I told him, we all have urges, and then I put my hand on his and told him that it all depends on whether we act on them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To illustrate this I acted, waiting for his reaction, our romp lasted ten minutes.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After we finished our meeting it seemed like he had this look of regret, he had this foreboding little pout that just melted my heart. I knew I was fucked. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had tears in his eyes, and I could not understand why. He had made himself look adorable, he had insisted on meeting me alone in my office, he told me about his urges about his probably fictional friend Tommy and the associated feelings he was developing for him. Alan had planned and executed my seduction, and now he was having regrets? I could do nothing but pray that the lord would forgive me my weakness and grant me clarity to know what to do moving forward.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now I’m sitting in holding cell hearing words thrown around that chill me to the bone; “pedophile,” “molestation,” “no-good son of a bitch that deserves everything that befalls him,” “man of the Lord me arse.” As I dwell on this I can’t help but feel victimized. I was seduced, I opened myself, I was the one who was betrayed, I was the one who lost his livelihood. I am the one who was sitting in a cold cell, being glared at by large angry men. I couldn’t help but feel that I would be victimized again, all because Alan looked so damn cute.<o:p></o:p></div>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-11093553751258230972011-03-03T10:32:00.000-07:002011-03-03T10:32:20.619-07:00Warlock Charlie: The New Superman<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">By now most people have seen the meteoric plunge that is Charlie Sheen's sanity. The once beloved actor seemed to have jumped the ship of normalcy into the abyss of crazy. I offer, however, that he has instead become what will henceforth be known as super sane, or colloquially as Warlockism.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Mr. Sheen has already stated that he doesn't suffer from a normal mental disorder such bipolar disorder, but instead has bi-winning, which means sometimes he wins sometimes he doesn't. This heretofore unheard of condition is caused by his super sanity. When asked if he took cocaine Sheen replied that he doesn't take cocaine, he buys it. A sentiment like this, on the surface seems like the rambling of a man unhinged; instead it is in actuality a clear and concise statement of fact. In a world that a majority of people are on the sane level, it stands to reason that he would feel it necessary to dumb down his reasoning to the most clear and concise level possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">How has Mr. Sheen achieved this level of super sanity that is on par with savant-ism?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In his own words Sheen is so special because he has the benefit of "tiger blood" and "Adonis DNA." These sound made up, however, such a level of sanity is not possible without the aid of some sort of supplement. Supplements so fantastic and terrifyingly named can only be the tools of the super sane, or a warlock.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Further evidence of Sheen's status as a warlock is how he describes himself. In his own words, "I'm extremely old-fashioned, I'm a nobleman, I'm chivalrous. I believe that chivalry is not dead, it's just been in a coma for a while." Only someone with values of yore could manage a sanity that is as all-encompassing as Charlie Sheen's, <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">With a psyche as fortified as his, the only option that Charlie Sheen has is to focus on developing superpowers to fight all the evil in the world, perhaps developing the foresight to keep his most eccentric thoughts and desires to himself. Or he could just find it in himself, as one of the greatest actors in all of history, to act just regular sane so that Two and a Half Men can continue undisturbed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-84333432488677214382011-02-24T09:22:00.000-07:002011-02-24T09:22:03.290-07:00Leadership<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>ZH-CN</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>AR-SA</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Many times you can hear people decry those in power, whether they are leading a household, business, municipality, or even the country. “What a bunch idiots! Now I have to pay more taxes because those fat cats up in Washington can’t get their shit together,” can occasionally be heard from the mouth of frustrated voters.” <span> </span>Well, there is probably a pretty good reason that the fat cats are such idiots.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">One would hope that the most capable and intelligent people are the ones who are running for and getting into office, this is not really the practice that we as humans are able to implement. In the United States, to get elected first you need to run and, more often than not, you need to receive votes. Neither of these are actually good indicators of ability. First the best and brightest individuals many times would rather go into professions such as engineer or doctor that; takes a lot of education and dedication. Many times when one goes about getting this education they would rather put this education to use in their desired profession, and not into the public sector, which might grant them little to no pay. The reason they do this is, like I said, their smart, and when weighing whether they want to hold an immense amount of responsibility, generate little to no income, while receiving a good amount of ill will from their constituents many of these intelligent people will respond with anything from a polite and tactful “no thank you” to a hearty “go fuck yourself.” </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Another reason the best and brightest aren’t usually candidates<span> </span>is because in the time that they spent studying and working and achieving, more often than not, they had to choose between socializing, studying, and eating or sleeping. As such they were not as able to socialize, which both inhibited them from socializing, and might have fostered an alarming addiction to video games, Mountain Dew, and Family Guy re-runs, which voters might see as a negative for someone in the role of President of the United States.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">This being said politics has turned into something more like the Dating Game and Less like Jeopardy. This being said the next time you see a charismatic, endearing, and likeable candidate for political office there is a good chance that he was the guy who you see doing a twenty second keg stand at a party, the nice young lady doing blow in the club bathroom, or the person who left your party with a lampshade on his head and somehow ended up in the hospital with a broken hand, a warrant for his arrest in two states, and fifty cracker packages from a local diner. These are the kids who partied the night before the test, and turned binge drinking into a way of life. Now they’re adults so the drinking has changed from malt liquor and PBR, and the parties feature more suits and less kegs. Are they incapable of running the country? No, but they probably were C students, getting passable grades in classes in things like political science, ethics, and economics. So get out and vote.</span></div>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-47398801613073185602011-02-16T17:53:00.004-07:002011-02-17T12:44:54.589-07:00Gravitational Energy of Raindrops<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 32px;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Musings are easy to come up with. Other people’s problems are remote enough to solve after a good thirty seconds of contemplation. One such musing that was an attempt to help a friend was to explain that there is a reason that they’re called relationships and not relationwalkintheparks. The reason is that much like ships they are, at best, expected to sail off into the unknown, and unfortunately, sometimes they sink. I thought this up on the spot, and, to my knowledge, I didn't even take it from a sitcom or a made for TV movie.</span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">More difficult than offering a simple musing is giving <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>advice. Optimally I would rather spend time contemplating the gravitational energy of raindrops, then concocting advice. At best I can spend my time thoughtfully and carefully constructing advice that would be beneficial to all parties involved. Gems such as “You know what? It is probably better to calm down a bit before you use Facebook to vent your frustration by saying that you’re glad Steve has contracted Chlamydia, because at least now he can give something on the holidays other than a sad look and an IOU. Instead how about we have a dance party and then pop some bubble wrap?” I could also take the easy way out and not spend any time or effort in advice I dispense. For example, “I don’t want to do this homework.” “Then don’t.” “But if I don’t do it I’ll fail my class.” “Then do it.” This advice is not thought provoking, nor constructive but it is relatively safe. Finally there is advice born from frustration and annoyance that is destructive and dangerous. “It sucks that the girl you like has not text you in twenty minutes, I bet she’s either trying to make you think that she’s fornicating with another dude, or she might be dead. You should get good and drunk on whisky and despair and spill your soul to her at four in the morning.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This type of advice is hopefully recognized as both sarcastic and a warning to figure it out on their own.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">However, I would personally rather contemplate gravitational energy of raindrops, then how the Universe is both finite and infinite, and then try to decipher why so many sorority girls enjoy 4 Loko and Ke$ha, then offer either advice or a musing. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 200%; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">People are going to make decisions based on what they want and not what is right. Essentially people ask for your time and energy to tell them what they want to hear and then you’re the asshole for being a straight shooter. So my advice to advice givers is to have fun with it, because there is very little chance that any advice you give is going to be heeded. Tell the girl wearing pants that are meant for a twelve year old that her butt doesn’t look big, tell your friend at the party that the girl who is pissed off at her humongous boyfriend is totally in to him and he should go for it, when your roommate is hung over offer a ‘family remedy’ which is essentially Tabasco sauce, mustard, and Koolaid, but remember that if you knowingly give advice that is going to end poorly that at least they’ll learn on their own. Hopefully your relationship with the person receiving advice will navigate themselves back into your good graces, or perhaps they’ll dash your relationship against the rocks and run it into the Kraken, but at least it’ll be a hell of a ride.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: left;"><br />
</div></div>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-54712842164183345162011-02-09T17:35:00.002-07:002011-02-09T17:35:38.540-07:00Had to Do it: Live Free or Die<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;">Every now and again a saying takes a group of friends, a community, or even the country by storm. Examples of sayings like this include rustle my jimmies or that’s what she said. Occasionally it ceases being a conscious choice to communicate the idea that you did indeed watch the same television show or were perhaps present at a party where the drunk guy was able to communicate the same syllable, instead it becomes a subconscious little tick that enters your vernacular, much the same way that “lol” is used at somewhat awkward or inappropriate times during a texting conversation, or essay, or eulogy. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At the beginning of my college career, out of habit from working in retail I would<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>add “and stuff” onto almost everything I said. “I’m just getting ready and stuff,” “No I’m too tired and stuff” and many other permutations followed, as it had been ingrained into my vocabulary. This was picked up upon by my very astute friends, and, first mockingly but later out of habit, they picked up “and stuff” and it had become viral. Out of concentrated effort and shame we were able to heal ourselves of “and stuff,” as though we washed our mouths out with the strongest cocktail of hand sanitizer, Emergen-C, and Airborne immune system boosters, and thus our vocabulary reentered the realm of more or less normal, until recently.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Recently a friend of mine introduced me to his new catch-all phrase. Used ideally, though not necessarily, when answering a question including the word “why.” His phrase works when answering for one’s self, someone else, an entire group of people, no one in particular, and even inanimate objects. The phrase is simply “Had to do it,” in all its ambiguous glory this phrase has the viral potential to sweep the country, nay the world, with a fervor not seen since the Whassup commercials of yore. Conversations are rife with possibilities of this phrase. “Why is the table broken?” “Had to do it" “Is she pregnant?” “Had to do it.” “Is that man wearing a corset?” “I guess he had to do it” “You’re being an ass.” “Had to do it.” This phrase was the perfect storm of nonchalance and attitude. It entered my conversation for casual conversation, my roommate picked it up, in was rampant at work, it was nearing an epidemic in my life. It needed to be stopped.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The other night at a bar, my friends were enjoying some nice drinks in tiki glasses, with fruit and an umbrella, I was sipping away on an always delicious ginger ale and the rebellion began.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over a conversation that spread from childhood to drug induced finger painting, the discussion shifted to an event in New Hampshire. The event, though funny, is now irrelevant to us realizing the state New Hampshire is the Live Free or Die state. We realized how subversive this statement is and how it could in fact inoculate us from “had to do it.” Live Free or Die can be an ideal, a justification, an interjection, and a war cry, or all of these at once. Drunk Frat boys and inspirational athletes could scream this with little effort, crying girls could be bolstered and brought back to their perky selves with this, most of all it could be interchanged with “had to do it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I know the revolution before us is tough. Conformity is something to be feared in the modern age. The repetition of phrases is mistaken for humor, tone and context of the phrase could be the difference between the king of catchphrases, or just another failed pipedream. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whenever I ask myself why this needs to be done I just ask myself what my hero would do. Now I ask you what would Jack Nicholson do? He’d Live Free or Die. ¡Viva<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>la revolución!<o:p></o:p></span></div>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-79987702720446729662011-02-07T17:38:00.000-07:002011-02-07T17:38:04.182-07:00Special Report: Kanye West’s* Inauguration<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold;">*actual Quotes from Kanye West will be underlined</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><b><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b><span style="font-weight: normal;">To start an undoubtedly unprecedented four years President Kanye West was inaugurated and almost successfully sworn in. As he was about to finish the oath of office the now President of the United States interrupted Chief Justice John G. Roberts, by saying, “I’m really happy for you, I know this is a big day for you, I’m gonna let you finish, but this is the biggest day for me of all time... Of all time!” <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><b><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b><span style="font-weight: normal;">After being elected in a landslide of votes by Americans who wanted to see what would happen since a majority of voters believed that the world was going to end in December 2012 anyway, President West then unexpectedly began what seemed like an unrehearsed Inaugural address. The audience present now realizing that the world did not, in fact, end watched with bated breath hoping that Mr. West might rise to the occasion, or at the very least be the new scapegoat for late night comedians. He did not disappoint.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<u> I don’t know what’s better, getting laid or getting paid</u>, but being the President is a pretty close third,” is how he began his address that was riddled with half formed ideas and quotes to keep the media happy for years to come. “We are going to paint the white house black then I am going to change the cardinal directions so that west is Kanye and east is West so that for years to come the world will read my name...” He continued to inform the public of all his plans for his presidency for the next four minutes until his Vice-President, Jay-Z, informed him that except for perhaps painting the white house, most of these ideas are either impossible or a tremendous over step of the limits of his Presidential power.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am the genius voice of this generation**, <u>we gonna touch the sky, because the only thing promised in life is death</u>,” replied the President. “<u style="text-underline: #173694;">Now I can let these dream killers kill my self esteem-or use my arrogance as steam to power my dreams</u>, I have always believed that if you <u style="text-underline: #173694;">keep your nose out the sky, keep your heart to God, and keep your face to the raising sun, then nothing can go wrong...”</u> At this point Vice President Z was able to calm President West down enough to finish the oath of office, after which President West was able to formally begin his inaugural address by finishing his informal address that he had begun earlier stating, “<u style="text-underline: #173694;">We all self-conscious. I'm just the first to admit it, but I know that I got an Angel watching me from the other side.</u>” He continued by saying that he know the presidency will be “<u style="text-underline: #173694;">a lot of pressure for one human being, especially because this dark diction has become America's addiction,</u>” most likely referring to himself. End his highly entertaining, but somewhat worrisome speech, President West promised the American Public that he will try to be the best President “of all time...All time!!!”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">**Quoted From South Park<u><o:p></o:p></u></div><!--EndFragment-->reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1325095681630726185.post-53324363345397532422011-02-07T15:18:00.000-07:002011-02-07T15:18:06.240-07:00The awkward, devoid of content first post<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This is where I will begin the blog that I will most likely delude myself into thinking that at least three people other than myself will even look. Hopefully at the very least I can dump work from my Wit seminar here for some sort of feedback, or I can turn it into an attention starved attempt to rant about anything and everything no one cares about, I decided to leave it open for myself. As the always wise Tigger would say TTFN</span>reNICKuloushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10068303272889601470noreply@blogger.com0